Here I am. Take it or leave it. But only take it.

George Takei posted this article on his FB page this morning and I REALLY wanted to comment but don’t really want to publicly say this, but sort of still want to less publicly say it:

If you decide to post a picture of your body for people to see online, you don’t get to choose what they think and/or say about it.  It’s different if someone steals your photos and tries to make money off them.  It’s different if you never meant for the photo to be posted.  But if you willingly put a selfie online and someone says something mean about it…tough noogies.

People like to say things that they think are funny and will get a laugh.  Unfortunately this often comes at the expense of others.  The girl in the article admits that she posted the photos because her “hip to waist ratio has never been so perfect and that was completely ignored.”  Again, you don’t get to choose what people focus on.  It’s like the chef at a restaurant coming out of the kitchen to persuade an unsatisfied diner that his food tasted good.

The hairy stomach is irrelevant here.  That part I actually think shows off her badass confidence…which may ultimately be a facade because of how much she lets the negative comments get to her.


Small town ramblings

So wanna hear something gossipy?

My roommate buys his weed from this middle-aged man in our apartment complex.  He called the guy and hadn’t heard back, which was kind of unusual but not alarming in itself.  He noticed the guy’s Jeep parked in the garage and wondered what was up.  Then a few days ago he went for a beer at the bar across the street and heard from the bartender that there was a DOA at our apartment complex that morning.  The guy had a heart attack and had been dead for over a week before anyone noticed.  The police came to deal with the body and saw a scale lying out in the living room so they tore the place up looking for drugs and money.  I guess not much was found because the guy is small time.

Isn’t that so sad/disturbing/terrifying?  Apparently stuff like this happens all the time.  I hope no one I know dies like this.  And if they do, I hope it doesn’t get pity-written about in some Suburban chick’s blog.  I’m the worst.

New Year, New Me

So I first started using this phrase ironically to make fun of Weight Watchers culture but to be honest it’s become an inspiring motto to start my year off strong.

One good thing that comes out of loneliness or boredom is the willingness to step outside of one’s comfort zone.  First of all don’t feel bad for me.  We are all lonely and bored on and off in our lives and there are many ways to use it to our advantage.  I think it’s an important life skill to learn how to be alone with yourself and your thoughts.  I guess on that level, call me an expert.  Equally as important is learning how to positively address the loneliness and boredom and turn it into NOT loneliness and the opposite of boredom.

Perhaps the most isolated I ever felt was the first month I lived in Korea.  It was miserable but exhilarating.  The alone-ness made me feel truly alive and like I had nothing to lose.  I signed up for things like TaeKwonDo and Korean language classes.  I accepted every single social invitation brought my way.  I forced myself to be friendlier than I ever have, swallowing my pride by asking people if they minded if I “tagged-along” when I overheard them mentioning weekend plans, a thing I had formerly attributed to only annoying people as a social faux pas.  It was hard.  I felt like a loser at times.  I wondered why it had never seemed as hard to make friends previously.  Then slowly things got better.  The months passed and I didn’t feel alone anymore.  And whenever new Western faces showed up in the staff lounge at my school, I went out of my way to invite them to lunch and show them how to order the food.  I remember how much I appreciated those that had done that for me.  All in all, the initial discomfort in being lonely is what I needed to experience.

Which brings me to the real topic of this post.  I’ve been looking for ways to spend my evenings besides changing into pajamas at 5:15, watching true crime documentaries and over-eating.  So I traded in the kettle chips for kettle bells and signed up for a group fitness conditioning class taught by a trainer.  My first class was last Thursday and I almost puked.  Today is the following Monday and my abs are still more sore than they’ve been in years.  I met 6 new people from my neighborhood.  I’m excited to see how my body and strength (and perhaps my social calendar) will change in the next month.

The Good in Social Media

Normally my views of social media can be summed up by three main ideas: narcissism, living vicariously, and stalking.  Every once in a while, however, social media serves as a catalyst for something wonderful and powerful to happen.

My sister is a special education teacher in Northern Virginia.  She follows a group, Special Books by Special Kids, on Facebook after a video of one of their teachers praising his special ed kids went viral.  The other day she randomly got a private message from this teacher asking a favor of her after seeing how she was a mutual friend of Amy Kule.  Amy is our mom’s cousin and is also the producer of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.  Apparently one of his students’ birthday wish is to get Amy Kule’s autograph.

If you have worked and/or interacted with the special education population before, you might have observed that they sometimes develop harmless yet obsessive fixations on arbitrary people.  For example, my friend Kat did an internship in college where she worked with autistic adults.  One of her clients had a passionate, factual knowledge of the professional and personal life of former US National Security Adviser Henry Kissinger.

So this boy, Sam, loves Amy and the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade so much that his birthday wish is just to get her autograph.  My sister, of course, messaged Amy and told her about this.  Amy responded right away asking more about this kid and the Special Ed program his teacher runs.  Within hours, Macy’s posted an official video of Amy wishing Sam a happy birthday and inviting him and his family to this year’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade as her personal guests.

Special Books by Special Kids will be posting Sam’s reaction to the video on it’s Facebook page later today!  Can’t wait to see his excitement!

Because of Macy’s and Amy and most of all this passionate special ed teacher, Mr. Chris (and to a small degree, my sis)…thousands of people will be made aware of Special Books by Special Kids and the positive impact these people have on the world.  How fucking cool!

Century 21

The edelberger recently ended things with her boyfriend of over 2 years.  She has been out of the dating game for some time and was expressing her apprehension for getting back into it.  Being the supportive friend that I am, I provided some encouragement with this little analogy:

Online dating is kind of like the housing market.  When a house first goes on, the appeal is at its peak.  People looking for a house to buy perk up at the sight of a new listing and do a quick overview to check for highlights and/or deal breakers.  If it looks promising, a viewing is arranged.  The current owner preps the house and does the best to sell it.  A couple weeks go by and no one puts an offer on the house.  Some more time passes and the owner gets a couple of low-ball offers here and there but nothing equal to or above asking price.  Once in a while an acceptable offer is placed and will appear as if it may go through but then doesn’t pan out for one reason or another.  The owner may take the house off the market for a few weeks/months to get it reappraised or so it can “focus on itself”.

The house goes back on the market. This time the real estate agent has convinced the owner to list it for a slightly lower asking price, just to maximize the options.  Some of the same potential buyers are still looking for a house and recognize the house from the first time it was on.  “Hmmm…guess that house didn’t sell yet,” they may think.  The value depreciates a little.  More showings, more half-assed offers and the owner may be growing impatient but still holds out hope for the asking price.

Then one day, when the owner least expects it, along comes a potential buyer.  The buyer decides that the house is perfect as is.  The deal goes through, the house is sold, the owner is relieved to find such a great buyer and the buyer is happy to have found the perfect home.

Last day of 2015

Woohoo it’s New Year’s Eve 2016!

Tonight should be different and fun.  I’m going with Jamie and a couple of her friends from high school to a soul food restaurant and underground jazz bar in Harlem.  Here’s the description of the place from its website:

“With a hat tipped to Harlem’s Renaissance, Ginny’s Supper Club is a modern reincarnation of the glamorous speakeasies and Harlem nights of the Twenties – an intimate lounge with a warm bourbon glow and an even warmer welcome.”

There’s been a black sequin Calvin Klein dress hanging in my closet with the tags still on for about 2 years now and I’ve finally found the perfect occasion to wear it.  Sometimes I really think the only reason I ever want to go out is for the excuse to dress up.  I’ve actually stayed out later than I’ve wanted to before because not enough people saw my outfit.